you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize