Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
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