what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
tequila makes me forget i have legs
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
