he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
