and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
we're so committed to being not committed
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize