I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
