Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
