Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
