do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
