You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
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