well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i drank out of a bidet.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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