3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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