Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
