I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
So much Jack, so little girl.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
