so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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