Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
