hotel room ftw
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
