Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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