It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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