Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
her vagine was all disorganized.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
