i don't like sucking hair
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You need a sexual gate keeper
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
