If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
