he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
