Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
