Are we in a gay sports bar?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
