I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
