absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
