Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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