So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I enjoy the company of your penis
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
