I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
