did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
