OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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