What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Just puked most of my soul out..
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
