life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
