I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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