Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
