you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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