i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
