just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
