Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
