if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
