That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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