i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
