he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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