it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
