Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Will exercising make me less horny?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize