When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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