isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
