I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
