i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
