I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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