I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
