Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
