It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
