I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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