his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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