Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
