the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She bit a glass in half.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
