people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
They have beer where we have blood.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
