the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Randomize
