you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
