Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
kristin has been a bad kristin
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize