hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
