i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize