it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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