you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
