Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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