he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
