i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
i need some magic done to my vagina
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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