i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize