I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
